37 / 365

Day 37...  Moon Rise at Gerard Drive.

I Know This Won't Be the Last Boy to Make Her Cry... (Pre-School Bullying)

A few months ago, i wrote about <a href="http://lilfamily13.blogspot.com/2011/11/biter-strikes-again.html"> a kid at school that kept biting Lilian</a>.  Well, he is at it again... or "was" i should say.
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Thursday, while i was on my way to pick up Lilian from school, i got the phone call parents dread.  When you look down and see your kid's childcare on your caller ID.  It's never a good thing if they call while your child is there.  And one of the administrators tells me "I know you're on your way here, but i just wanted to let you know that Lilian was pushed by another child, fell on her face, her nose is bleeding, swelling, and bruising.  We have ice on it, but i didnt want you to come in and see that unexpectedly."  I told her i'd be there in 5 minutes.  By the time i got there, the bleeding had stopped and Lily was in the bathroom (which takes a while when the teacher has to bring 3-5 kids to the bathroom and let them take turns.) 
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So i was handed the next most pre-school parent dreaded thing... and that's the Incident Report.  This was Lily's 4th (once she bonked heads with another kid by accident in the bouncy castle, the two reports from the bites, and this one).  It (and then the teacher in person) explained that she was sitting on the rug doing puzzles next to another kid. He was grabby with the puzzle so she picked it up and stood to walk away and sit somewhere else. And just as she stood up, he shoved her from behind and fell flat on her face on the tile, since she was holding something and couldnt block her fall.
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It made me sad to think she was hurt.  But it also made me angry, because it sounded like she handled the problem in a mature way (walking away rather than fighting) and the aggressive child still acted violently...from behind.  If they were fighting tug of war style over a toy and she fell, i'd accept it more as typical toddler behavior, but this was intentionally aggressive because he didnt like her reaction.
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So Mama Bear is pissed.... and the administrator that i was talking to had the incident report for the other kid (kids that misbehave apparently get written reports sent home too), and as she was talking to me, she waved the paper and i saw the name on it.  It was The Biter!!!!!  Then i lost my patience with the situation a little.  The same kid has bitten my daughter twice (for reference, he's 3, my daughter is nearly 3.5 but he's actually bigger than her), hit her a few times shes said, but it hasnt gone on record, and now a shove from behind that ended in a face plant on tile.  Enough is enough!  I've never met the kid (i've only seen him for 2 minutes when picking up or dropping off Lily) and i dont know what he's like most of the time, but i do know that for a fraction of his time... he is violent and aggressive.  I've never gotten a report that Lily has ever raised a hand at any other kid (and i even asked her teachers) and i've never gotten a report that any other kid ever hit her.  It seems like just this ONE kid has his own personal problems and my kid is suffering because of it.  Not cool.  As i left with Lily, i saw The Biter sitting on the floor behind the round reception desk and half-jokingly told them "well, at least i'm glad to see he's in prison".
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Though it has been months, Lily still has not forgotten being bitten.  She still talks about it, she still tells us she's afraid of The Biter and that he's "a jerk" and a "bad boy."  But she wasn't resisting going to school or anything else, so i assumed the problem was resolved.  But starting last week, she was resisting going to school and saying she was afraid of school or too shy. (I think "shy" might translate to "nervous" or "anxious" in her vocabulary).  I didnt understand why and i thought it was possible she was being manipulative just because she'd rather stay home or was too tired.  (Parenting Fail: Listen to your kids!!!)  And then Thursday, she was assaulted at school again.
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We took her to the doctor since the swelling was one-sided to make sure her nose/cheekbone weren't broken, and they weren't.  It was just bruising/swelling, so that was good at least.  But we were obviously really upset and it seemed the school was also upset and concerned, which made me feel better.  They called several times to check up on her, and after a meeting with the owner, i was called and informed that he has been removed from the program.
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The Biter has been expelled from pre-school.  Problem solved, right?   I wish...
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Lily had a three day weekend to get over it, but Monday came and she was hysterical.  I promised her The Biter would not be at school today or any day ever again and that no one would hurt her.  I did get her to go, and when we picked her up we sat down for a meeting with both teachers and both administrators.  We learned that when they split the class a month ago (enrollment had increased, so they split into age based classes: 18 months-3 and 3&4).  In that time it seemed Lily was loving school.  But last week, The Biter turned 3 and was moved into her class (hence the resistance we got from her) and on the 3rd day he assaulted her.  Lily's main teacher told me that on his first day in the big kid class, Lily cried.  The teacher asked her why, and she said that The Biter bit her.  The teacher said "no he didnt, he just walked in the room."  And Lily said, not today but a long time ago, and she was scared.  (I wish i knew that when it happened, not after another act of violence).  Lily told us that he hit her all the time, growled at her, and spit on her.  The teachers told us he is not very verbal and tends to make gutteral noises and spit... so it probably wasn't "at" her, but she didn't know that.  (Or maybe it was, and he was sneaky enough to intimidate her when they weren't looking.)  The combined classes had lunch & recess time together, so she did see him, even though they were split for part of the day.  The teachers said that all personnel was instructed to keep a careful watch on him specifcally, but sometimes things happen so quickly there's no way to stop them.  So where as I believed everything got better (happy child, no incident reports), Lily was actually being bullied at school and i didnt know.
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Yesterday and today we had the WORST mornings we've had EVER in Lily's life.  She has been refusing to do the things that lead up to school... shower, go to bed, wake up and pee, get dressed, etc. I guess hoping that if the routine didn't happen, she wouldn't eventually end up at school.  After several naps/nights she wakes up crying telling me she had nightmares that The Biter was chasing her.  Yesterday morning she was so determined not to go to school, that she refused to sit on the potty and instead peed her pajamas while standing right next to the toilet and wailing.  This morning, i put her on the potty hysterical, and as she started to pee, she hopped off and peed all over her panties, the floor, etc.  This is a kid that was potty trained in 4 days and NEVER has accidents.  And now she'd rather pee herself than go to school.   Several times in the past few weeks she's had Night Terrors where she wakes about 2-3 hours after going to bed in hysterics.  You can't touch her or speak to her or the screaming gets worse and she holds her breath.  It can last 10-25 minutes.  At 2am.  Leaving us all exhausted come morning.  Since her teachers are aware, both they and we are assuring her that she wont see him at school ever again, that she's safe, that no one will hurt her again.  But a 3 year old's trust isn't so easily earned.
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I'm kind of at a loss with what to do.  Once she gets to school this week, she's been fine.  But the anticipation/fear of school is driving her crazy.  Because she's happy when she gets there, the school reccommends that we keep sending her and she'll soo learn to trust again.  But i'm not sure if showering, putting her on the potty, dressing her all by FORCE in the mornings is healthy.  We are also considering taking some time off from school hoping she'll miss it, and request to go back.  And we're also considering getting her in to see a therapist for even just a few sessions who may be able to talk to her about it better than we can.  But she went from a happy kid who LOVED school, to a fearful, anxious kid that is terrified of school and has nightmares.  In the past 2 weeks, she has literally been suffering emotionally.  It seems crazy that another toddler could have this affect on her, but i guess his aggression, threats, and violence did a number on her.  This is literally the first time she's been threatened with anything (more serious than loss of TV time or the time out chair) or physically hurt (we don't believe in hitting or any sort of violence in the house).  This is probably the first time she's ever even met someone who didn't treat her with love and respect - since most everyone else she's around thinks she's awesome and funny.  And whereas it is important to learn that not everyone is going to like you... it is not necessary for her to feel threatened in what should be a safe place.  So here we are, dealing with a traumatised child.  I'm extremely glad that the school kicked him out (we didn't request that) and are taking this very seriously.... but i just want my happy girl back!  (And as for The Biter, i hope his parents recognize the seriousness of the situation and get him some help ASAP.  Especially before they try to get him into another schoool where he may terrorize some other kid.)

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I know this won't be the worst thing she ever gets through and it won't be the hardest thing I ever deal with as a parent.  But as her Mommy, it makes me terribly sad to see her so afraid every day.

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*edited to add*  - Missy called a child psychologist in our area... and happened to catch her in the car, so she was willing to give her a 1/2 hour of her time on the phone.  Missy explained it all.  The advice we were given was to keep her on her routine.  It sounds like clear cut PTSD but kids have a different way of sensing time then us, so although a week ago may seem like a long time to us, it may feel like an hour to a toddler.  It may take her what seems like a long time to us to get over, but she will.  She also said that since the Biter was removed from the class once and brought back... Lily will have a hard time believing that he's not coming back again.  Having him come back to her class after a month of not being there cost us all a lot of trust in her eyes.  She'll need extra reassurances and affection at school to rebuild trust.  (And the therapist said the Biter should be the one in therapy sessions!)

So... I'm pretty sure our plan was to just keep at it and hope it gets easier anyway.  Good to know we aren't doing the wrong thing by forcing her to go.  It is, however, so emotionally exhausting for ME to deal with these tantrums.  I'm having anxiety before going to bed because I dread being woken up an hour or two later with her night terrors. 
I know it'll get better.  I just hope it's sooner than later.

Veguary 2012 - I Will Match Your Pledges

In 2011, Lil Family Blog celebrated Veguary (visit www.veguary.org ) with a month of blog posts and guest blogs on vegetarianism.  With February 2012 approaching, i'm announcing another month of celebrating vegetarianism, in all it's varying forms.

Please read last year's posts:

Veguary 2011 - http://lilfamily13.blogspot.com/2011/02/veguary.html

Blog: Does Vegetarian Mom = Vegetarian Kid?  - http://lilfamily13.blogspot.com/2011/02/veggie-kids.html

My Egg Dilemma Part 1 - http://lilfamily13.blogspot.com/2011/02/my-egg-dilemma.html

My Egg Dilemma Part 2 - http://lilfamily13.blogspot.com/2011/03/my-egg-dilemma-part-2.html

Veguary Guest Blogger *Christine* - http://lilfamily13.blogspot.com/2011/03/veguary-guest-blogger-christine.html

Veguary Guest Blogger *Jody* - http://lilfamily13.blogspot.com/2011/02/veguary-guest-blogger-jody-veggie.html

What is Veguary?   It is a mission started by students in 2009, to get people to eat no or less meat in the month of February.  It's a month of vegetarian awareness and education.  And for me, it's a reminder to celebrate my choices, further educate myself, and reach out to others.
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veguary

This year, again, i ask for your Veguary pledges.  Visit http://www.veguary.org/ and leave your pledge.  You can pledge to be a vegetarian, pescatarian, or a flexitarian (meaning you'll reduce your meat intake).   To encourage you to pledge, i am going to Match Pledges.  Since i'm already a mostly-vegetarian, i have pledged to be a 100% vegetarian in February (eliminating things like gelatin and chicken broth that may have missed my radar normally).  But for everyone of my Lil Family Blog readers that pledges Veguary, i will also pledge to one day of veganism in the month of February (meaning i'll consume no animal products, including dairy and eggs).

Matching Your Pledges!

Here are the rules:  go to Veguary.org and leave your pledge there.  Then leave a comment here and tell me you've done it!  If you'd like to include your exact pledge and why, i'd love to read about your choice.  Then i'll match your pledge with one day of veganism.  I'll match up to 29 pledges, for one complete month of veganism.  Any vegetarian or pescatarian pledges count.  A flexitarian pledge must include a plan: such as "Meatless Mondays" or a pledge to give up meat for lunch or dinner every day for Veguary, etc.

I look forward to seeing & matching your pledges.

Also - anyone who would like to guest blog in Lil Family Blog for Veguary 2012, please contact me! I'd love to post your stories about vegetarianism... or why you refuse vegetarianism!  

Please check back in February for my blog posts about Veguary.

Leave pledges here.  Please and thank you!

I Wish You Had Brown Eyes

Today i was driving Lilian to school... and she was looking out the window naming what colors things were... and out of nowhere came "you have blue eyes, Mommy." (My eyes are actually gray with a hint of green sometimes i think, not actually blue, but close enough). "And my eyes are brown." And I told her "Yes, that's right." We've had that discussion many times. Usually it's followed with naming that we have red lips, peach skin, brown hair, and whatever color shirts and pants we have, etc. Funny enough, this conversation often happens while she's sitting on the toilet and i sit on the edge of the bathtub. But today it took a different twist. She said "I wish you had brown eyes too, Mommy, so you could match me." *woosh* The air went out of my lungs and i said nothing. I think this is the first time she noticed or acknowlegded that we look different.

To know why this is significant requires a lot of backstory and the preface of... this is all about *me*. My somewhat irrational feelings and hangups, and my background.

So when we were first TTC (trying to conceive) back in 2007, we first considered using sperm banks. We decided not to for a variety of reasons that arent really related to this, so i won't go into them. But when we were going through the online catalog, we were basing our decision on education/profession (trying to pick a smart one), race/ethnicity, blood type didnt matter since i have + blood, handwriting (silly, but well, we're trying to pick genetics based on a list of facts and we didn't have much to go on), and height/looks. At the time, i was going with my lifelong plan of never searching out my bio-family (which did happen later) and i never had a bio relative. Part of the excitement of having a child, was to have my first ever bio relative and the first person to ever look like me! It may not sound like a big thing to those who have parents, siblings, cousins, grandparents who resemble them. But for someone who's never been able to say "i have his eyes and her hair" it was a big thing. So my awesome wife agreed that we could pick a donor that resembled me (European or even more specifically Eastern European, fair skin, blue or light eyes, possibly blonde or light brown hair, though we were more flexible with the hair color, etc.) Without photos you can never be sure, but we thought that would give us a better chance of the baby looking like me. This was a big thing for M to agree to since she wasnt going to be the bio-mom either. (Many same sex couples pick the donor to look like the partner as though they were mixing their own DNA). And M looks nothing like me... she's Italian and has dark almost black brown hair, brown eyes (kinda hazel on close inspection), and her family tans easily. But knowing how important it was to me, she gave it to me.

Then we decided that anonymous sperm was not for us... weighed the options of several men in our life... and asked one of our mutual best friends (Lily's dad) who is Puerto Rican... with almost black hair and the darkest brown eyes. Me being fair/freckled and pale eyed, i knew for sure that our interracial baby would not look like me in most ways, but ultimately other things were way more important (the character/brains/health of her father, as well as our relationship with him.)

And Lilian was conceived... and came out with dark dark hair (which has since lightened to a golden light brown) and eyes that were rich chocolate brown by her first birthday. She has the same skin tone as me (fair with golden undertones) but does not have freckles (yet). Her face as a newborn was pretty much a clone of her dad's, but as she grows up, she is starting to take on some of my features. She has my exact eyebrows and hands. If you look hard enough, i'm "in there" somewhere, but ultimately she looks like a more Caucasian version of her dad. She also looks like Missy! Big brown eyes and the same coloring, etc. In public, people often guess Missy to be the biological parent... which is neat.

Of course I think she's perfect. I wouldn't change a thing about her. I wouldnt trade her eye color for mine now even if i could. Not only is she absolutely beautiful, but she's "Lily" and she was made the way she was meant to be. But to say that there was no disappointment when she came out looking like a mini-me of our donor would be a lie. I think post-partum depression didnt aid to the process, but after the initial weeks/months of friends, family, visitors etc. remarking on how she was her dad's clone (while i was recovering from surgery and had a somewhat destroyed figure and poor health from the pregnancy) was a bitter pill to swallow. I wanted to shout that her DNA was 50% mine even if you couldnt see it! I felt 100% bonded to her, but the way people spoke, you'd have thought i carried an actual cloned baby. I was convinced some people even went on and on about it just TO bother me.

Time went by, (my hormones regulated) and it bothered me a lot less... close to not much at all. People still remark on how much she looks like her dad, and people still assume Missy's the bio parent. And i'm OK with that. She is, after all, all 3 of ours. She may not look like me, but i did grow her inside of me. And in so many other ways, she IS a mini-me. She has lots of personality traits of both Missy and her dad, but a lot are just me too. We have the same favorite foods and both phisically and mentally, i see more and more of me as she gets older.

And in 2009, things changed again. My bio family emerged. I have a bio mom whom i look quite a lot like, and a bio sister the same age, who i also look like ( see here: http://lilfamily13.blogspot.com/2010/07/me-too.html ) I've only met my sister, but ive seen photos of my bio parents, aunts/uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc. There's practically an entire city in central NJ that I am related to and look like! ( see here: http://lilfamily13.blogspot.com/2011/07/on-adoption.html ) And it was extremely exciting and new for me to look through albums (scanned and emailed) and pick out my own features in these strangers' family photos. And although these people are not a part of my life, they are out there. I know their names and where they live, i have lots of photos, and although they are strangers, they are also "real" to me. This, too, may have changed my feelings about the whole thing. Who knows?

Now it's 4 years later and Lilian is a beautiful, healthy, intelligent child. She literally came out perfect. And if/when we have a second child, we intend for him/her to be Lily's full sibling if things go as planned. And i'm sure that child will look very little/not at all like me too. And i'm OK with that. I choose that. But thats not to say that every once in a while, something doesn't remind me or bring up the old hurt feelings of not looking like my family. Because that's how i grew up... not looking like them... an outsider of sorts. And ironically, i made the same choice for my adulthood too. I still dont look like my family, even the one i made/am making. I love them and wouldnt change a thing. But today's comment from Lily brought back the old sting. (I can remember sitting with my mom at birthday party, i was around 12 years old, and a aquaintence of hers saying out of nowhere "you two look nothing alike, i'd have guessed she was adopted." Random, embarrassing, and it stuck with me for 20 years). I realize that it's conflicting feelings to both be perfectly content with who she is and what she looks like, and to feel a little sad that we dont look more alike... but well, who can explain emotions?

So i said to her, "But what color lips do you have?" And she said red. And i asked her what color lips I had... and she said also red. I said, "see, we do look alike." And she agreed "Yeah, we do look alike, Mommy."


Me & Lily, April 2010


Missy and Lily, May 2009


Lilian with her dad "B", October 2011


All of us in a silly (yet awesome) theme park portrait. August 2010. (The redhead in the red dress is no relation, but a close friend of ours.)


(I'd like to again point out that this is a very me-centric post. I know that both Missy and Lily's dad value that she looks like them, and i don't discount that. I am glad that they both have that. But sometimes for *me*, buried feelings are dredged up, and this morning was one of those times.)


(Written & posted on my mobile phone... please excuse any typo errors).



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17, 18, 19 / 365

Days 17, 18, and 19 from Project 365

Day 17 - Lily drinking her orange sherbet milkshake that Missy made for her.

Day 18 - Dinner for Lily and I.  Veggie stir fry and flower pasta. Hulk says Mmmmm...

Day 19 - The notebook in which I've written down every book I've read since 2002.

My book list...

(P.S. - While you're here, click on an ad on the right/below this!  The advertisers like it and so do I!)

15 & 16 / 365

Days 15 & 16 of Project 365.  (On a long weekend since today was MLKJr Day and I had off from work.)

Day 15 - Ruby snuggling with her chicken toy. 
She loves her "babies."  She doesn't love photos.

Missy showing off the 54 English muffins her dad dropped off today -
Enough to feed the Duggars and then some.

8, 9, 10 / 365

OK... i'm not doing a great job of keeping up with Project 365... so I'll have to do a little catching up this week!
Here are photos 8, 9, and 10.



Day 8 - Lilian in our favorite local restaurant - Townline BBQ.



Ruby tucks herself into bed this way.  BTW - aren't my fleece penguin sheets the cutest?

Photos 9 & 10

Only to be made cuter with BOTH my girls tucked into my bed....

5 and 6 / 365

More Project 365 photos....  (days 5 and 6)

What is happier than a baby eating the messiest food on earth???

Our freezer... hoping for a little Ellio's Pizza Magic this weekend.

A Normally Unpolitical Woman Talks Politics

I am not one to talk about politics.  Really ever.  I have mine, we all do.  And whereas my opinions are pretty strong, but political views are pretty weak.  Normally, I just don't care. 

But recently, seeing what is going on in the political world has me actually frightened.  It has me questioning my pride to be an American, hell, it even has me questioning my pride to be human.

I grew up in a house of Republicans.  My mom and dad... and now my brother (in his 20's) have always voted Republican.  (Though it made me snicker to hear my brother's wife voted for Obama.  I'm pretty sure my brother declined to admit to who he voted for.)  My family is Jewish, upper middle class, white collar, East Coasters.  And whereas they may have some liberal views on social aspects (they are down with they gays and pro-choice as far as I know), they vote to keep their military strong and to keep their money where it belongs - in their own bank accounts.  I guess I'm the black sheep... uh.. donkey... of the family. 

When it comes to voting - opposing sides about taxes and finances, the military, healthcare, schools, laws, etc make sense.  These things are national issues and i'd expect there to be two sides.  These things affect everyone, and therefore i'd expect there to be debates about it.  I even expect for people to get nasty about it.  These issues are important - people are very opinionated - and no one likes people messing with their money or rights.  So debate on, fight it out, and if I'm on the losing side, then I can accept that too.

Here's where the 2012 election politics throw me.  The central FOCUS on hateful issues.  Gay marriage, Don't Ask Don't Tell and gays in the military, religion, racial issues, etc.  I expect people to have opinions on these things too... we all know, opinions are like assholes: everyone's got one.  But what has me in shock, is how political candidates are spewing hate and prejudice and are not only getting away with it, but are expecting people to vote for them.  Since when is what people do in their Bedrooms or to which god we do or do not pray to a national issue???

True, 2011 was a pretty amazing year for gay rights and I'm sure that has a lot of people pissed off.  But I just can't really understand why.  More rights were GIVEN out, but none were taken away from anyone.  Straight people are still allowed to marry opposite sex spouses... and they can still get divorced 72 days later if they choose.  And everyone still has the right to choose not to serve in the military alongside gays if they wish; there is no draft forcing anyone to serve.

I'm just frightened by amount of hate that is bubbling.  Scared of campaigns to REVOKE rights already given to us.  As far as I know, women's suffrage rights and black civil rights were not revoked once issued.  (I could be wrong on this, but my NJ Public school education plus my fancy Google skills make me believe that is so).

But these crazies actually have me terrified for the future of our country and our Earth.

Rick Santorum:

http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2011/06/06/237112/rick-santorums-top-12-most-offensive-statements/

http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2012/01/04/397355/rick-santorums-top-10-most-outrageous-campaign-statements/

Michele Bachmann: 

http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2012/01/03/396653/bachmann-refuses-to-explain-past-anti-gay-comments/

Rick Perry:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PAJNntoRgA&sns=em

All of the Loonies: 

http://www.autostraddle.com/republican-candidates-still-love-to-hate-the-gays-have-nothing-else-to-talk-about-125151/

Whereas I don't like The Newt, when asked about gay rights, he mostly avoids the topic and/or tells gays to vote for Obama (alluding to the fact that he's not down with the rainbows - this actually happened, he actually told someone to vote Obama).  Then he spews some other right wing nonsense... which I totally can respect!

But Michele Bachmann and her nutty husband have made comments like 'the first thing I plan to do in office or as first spouse is to put into effect my anti-gay policies.'   First thing?  Really?  Let's not focus on the homeless or hungry, education, improvements... let's punish those gays instead.  ( http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/12/16/marcus-bachmann-outlines-first-spouse-agenda/?smid=tw-nytimespolitics&seid=auto )

What I want to know... is why are these people so obsessed with gay people???

Rick Santorum, another prize, not only wants to illegalize gay marriage, but wants to annul every marriage already performed.  Talking about being pro-family ... and this POS wants to involuntarily divorce people?  (Annul is just a polite way of saying divorce to me.  If you dissolve a marriage, who cares what word you use for it.)  I've been legally married for 4.5 years now (it'll be 5 years in August) and someone literally thinks those years should be erased.  Made as though they never happened.  Make my child a bastard and legally take her parent away.  He also talks shit about Blacks... and racists have no place in government.

Rick Perry's ad campaign was a gift to the internet... his dislikes rival only Rebecca Black's Friday and Justin Bieber... and the spoofs keep me laughing for days.  But this jackass must have been absent on the 12 years of school when they taught history.  "Religion made our country strong..." if by religion, you mean FREEDOM of religion.  As far as I'm concerned... and the constitution is concerned... religion and politics don't mix.  Our constitution allows freedom of religion, but doesn't REQUIRE it.  And the seperation of church and state has been upheld again and again by supreme courts.  ( http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Separation_of_church_and_state_in_the_United_States ).  Wasn't our country build on the ideals of NOT forcing religion and being allowed to choose?  I think Freedom makes us strong.  And education.  And love and empathy.  Personally, I think religion makes trouble... but I respect your right to choose it.  But please keep your religious views out of my rights and laws.  And aren't religions discretionary anyway?  Your religion says murder is a sin.  I consider hunting to be murder - can we make that illegal next?

But to say that our laws should be in accordance with your religion is Unconstitutional.  So aren't these people telling me, I am going to make laws that break the law?  Aren't they telling me "I want to break the law to enforce my new laws"?  Aren't they preaching hate and inequality? 

I've never paid a ton of attention to political campaigns.  I've voted only twice in my life for president (2000 and 2008).  But this year, the hateful and hurtful messages I catch glimpses of (accidentally mostly on TV, blogs, and Facebook) have me actually concerned.  How must we look to other nations? (As though their opinions could get any lower).    How must we look to children, who may not remember campaigns that weren't so blatantly racist, homophobic, and religiously-supremecist. 

Why am I not hearing about things that these candidates want to do to improve my life?  Improve our country? Improve our national standings and relationships? Improve the pathetic value of the American dollar?  Instead, I'm being bombarded with prejudices and hatred.  We have so many problems, and who marries who is really your biggest concern?

For what it's worth... my family is non-religious.  Literally, we are raising our daughter with no religion.  Santa visited us but my daughter has never heard of Jesus, god, or the Bible.  One day I'll teach her about these things and what they mean to people (as well as spirituality, karma, and religions around the world) and let her make her own choices and beliefs.  But for now, we are a family with no religion.  However, besides our genitalia (we only have vaginas in our house) we follow a perfect Christian-Judea value system.  We don't kill, steal, or lie.  We practice kindness and try to be non-judgmental.  We follow state and national laws.  We work and pay taxes.  We respect our elders and honor our parents.  We do no harm to others.  We live and let live.  We give charity and do good deeds. We don't practice hate or violence.  We married before conceiving our child.  We have friends that are of all sexual orientations and races and religions.  We raise our child in a home with values stressed on love, freedom of choice, and being good people.  To know us, you'd see that we're no different than the average American (Christian even) family (except for that 2 vagina, 0 penis ratio).  I just can't understand why people are so obsessed with us.  With destroying/dismantling our family.  With hating us.  It seriously baffles me.  And you're the "good" Christian and I'm the sinner.  Strange.

I wish someone would kick the soapbox out from under these haters so we could go back to watching arguments about government healthcare, our "war" on terrorism, the failing economy, and our evergrowing epidemics of homelessness, obesity/malnutrition, unemployment, etc.   - what should be the Seriously Scary Stuff.

Quit obsessing and get back to focussing on actual national issues.  You're scaring me.

2 and 3 / 365

Oliver & Lily... nighttime cuddles!

A blog post I wrote about Oliver and Lilian last year.

"i am very intense."   -- Oliver

I forgot to take a photo yesterday for Project 365... so here are two for today!